The Argument
by lilidelafield
Summary: This is the original short story that was my inspiration for my longer fic "Of Hearts and Bullets". Napoleon and Illya have fallen out big time! What has happened? Will they ever be friends again?


For five days Napoleon and Illya had been avoiding each other.

At staff briefings they had seated themselves at opposite ends of the table, where they did not have to directly interact with one another. If one of them was in their office doing paperwork, the other always seemed to have plenty to do elsewhere. At first it was regarded as an amusing coincidence, but as the days wore on, it became clearer and clearer to everyone that their CEA and his partner had fallen out.

All the stranger, as one and all, if asked, would have declared that Solo and Kuryakin were the least likely of anyone to fall out over anything. Their partnership had always been so solid and their friendship so deep, that they had been much envied. Now, however, it seemed, things had changed big time.

Napoleon continued his work, on the surface at least exactly as he had always done, with the exception that everything he did, he did without Illya. Illya on the other hand strode through the corridors of UNCLE with a grim expression that defied anyone to speak to him about anything that was not strictly work related. No one dared to ask Illya what had happened between the two. For the curious, Napoleon was definitely the least scary option. Agent Dancer was the one designated to make the approach. She objected in no uncertain terms.

"They are both **mature** men!" she retorted, "They have the right to their own privacy. And to sort their problems out in their own time!"

Lisa Rogers raised her eyebrows at that.

"Are you sure about that, April? When my brothers fell out like that, mom would lock them both into their bedroom until they sorted things out."

April shook her head.

"You're not a section two, Lisa, so I don't expect you to understand this, but you don't come between a section two agent and their partner. If they have problems with each other, they sort it out themselves. No one else can interfere. No one. That is a cardinal rule. It would be the worst mistake possible. It could even lead to the break-up of a partnership."

"But…"

"Has Mister Waverly said anything?"

Lisa shrugged.

"He simply said it will blow over. But I'm not sure it will."

April frowned.

"If Mister Waverly is confident, why are you worried?"

"I don't know…"

"It sounds to me as if they are handling things the best way they can."

"But refusing to talk to each other?"

April sighed.

"How do you know they are not talking? Simply because they have not been observed together for a few days? Trust Mister Waverly, Lisa, and trust the guys. Who knows what went on in their last assignment? It was top secret after all."

"I suppose so…"

Napoleon was finishing the last debriefing of his agents just after five that evening when there was a knock at the door.

"Come!"

He looked up and grinned when April Dancer popped her head round the door.

"Hi! Got a minute?"

"For you, anytime."

April came in and closed the door carefully behind her.

"Just came to deliver a verbal report for you, boss."

Napoleon smiled.

"Ah! How is it going?"

April raised her thumb and grinned at him.

"Going great! The entire staff are convinced that you and Illya hate each other, and that you are about to call each other out or something. I've just had to convince Lisa not to come marching down here trying to solve your problems for you."

"Everyone believes?"

"Except Mark and I of course, and Mister Waverly who are in on the plan. No doubt our THRUSH spy believes in your argument with all his or her heart. "

"Any clues yet?"

"No one obviously celebrating. You might have to simply walk into whatever trap they are planning for you."

Napoleon nodded.

"If we only knew whether their primary target was myself or Illya."

"Well if you find out, don't tell Illya straight away. He looks like he would like to kill them with his bare hands."

"I know. He's pretty angry for real about the whole situation. April, get Mister Waverly's okay to monitor every single communication in and out of headquarters. Everything."

"Quite an invasion of privacy."

"I know, but it is the only way we will find our infiltrator. Lisa and Illya could do the job between them, starting as soon as possible. Whoever it is will be calling in their success, right?"

April nodded.

"I'll go right now."

To bait the trap, in the commissary the following morning, Solo and Kuryakin contrived to meet and start a huge argument. Needless to say, they were convincing, leaving all their colleagues stunned at witnessing their final break-up.

Lisa and Mister Waverly were in his office, monitoring all the frequencies. Outside in the UNCLE mobile office in the back of a large lorry, Illya and Mark were also monitoring. It wasn't long before they heard what they were waiting for. A female voice, reporting to THRUSH that the object had been achieved.

"Where is the transmission point?"

"The roof!" Mark replied, getting up.

On the roof, Jill Watson, newcomer in the communications hub hid her THRUSH communicator inside her **blue** sweater, and turned, looking pleased with herself. She stopped, stunned. Napoleon and Illya were walking towards her, side by side. Both were smiling grimly.

"Sorry about the punch, my friend." Illya was saying.

"Not at all!" Napoleon replied, removing his gun from his jacket and pointing it in her direction. "It was worth it to be able to stop all this play-acting!"

Jill frowned.

"Play-acting? You mean…you were acting all this time?"

Illya nodded.

"Just another mission. Just another defeat for THRUSH!"

He gestured to his partner.

"This man followed me the length and breadth of my homeland a while ago at great personal cost. No THRUSH will ever come between us!"

He grabbed her roughly.

"You have made a very big mistake…!"


End file.
